Life of a cow

When we say about cow,
which has many different colour,
The best colour will be black and white,
Which indicate stability between good and bad.
And here is story of cow

Cow is actually a calm and tame animal. It work as hard as it can as long as it has a place to leave and food to eat. No matter how hard is the work as in paddy field smoothing the soil or as hard as dragging a chart behind or even carry grocery as much as it size it never complain as long as it is treated goodly. But when cow meets its owner the whip and hit when it slow down, they will become more and more slower, more and more weak to work, like human they start to feel anger, sadness, and not worth to work for what they earn. As this happen it start to stop moving no matter how much you whip or shout or push it just never move. Similar to human it goes the same but the different is sometime human tend to be the same even though there are not angry, sad or even tired its a personality of being standing firmly with own perception sometime stubborn. When cow is push to much its patient losses instead of a tame animal it become the most fearsome animal of human. Sames goes to us as human when we reach the limit we totally change to different people. A person that seems to be nice will be as fearsome. When cow get to its nerve its hard to calm it down it takes time to do so. The same goes to us human being.

Well that's all for how cow life be..

Feel safe and secure??

As a continous ,to the previous blog, and yet still i dont the know the reason why, everythime when i am sad or even with dripping tears when i see him i feel every sadness is gone just with a count of one. Even i wanted it to contunue pouring just to feel better myself it would not come down. I don't know why am i only know how to shows happy faces even i am so down. Now i don't know how to approach him, what to say to him cause i feel i don't know him anymore. Even though i want to get back to the time like before just normal chat i cant make it even once. I dont have much to ask, i respect and appreciate what you have done but i still will prefer that you are as you are before, become a person that i can talk to even without any special relation. Now it seems that there is a huge wall between us that stop all the activities, i don'k know whehter the wall i created it myself or what but some how it become a border. This wall only become taller and taller keeping myself imprison i just hope one day you will come and help be break this wall as i really cant break it on my own now. I don't know why i feel disturb by this even we never even started anything i even doubt that you can't get my message. If you need explaination i will give, if you want it to be like the time last time i will humbly give way just don't just leave me behind all this wall and mist. If ou happen to read this and know that is you i am refer to just give me a responce, time is not as long as you thing without knowing it it passes by but to break this wall no matter how fast or how slow time pass this wall is hard to break without you helping.

Feeling uncomfortable, unsecure

I dont know why but i kind of feels uncomfortable when i did not see him for a while
Even it ry my best to forget the feeling i have towards him, trying by best to rule this particular feeling out i still feel tat everytime i din see him personally or only his shadow i feel unsecure, not comfortable, as if the world will go aparts. Every word he says whcih shows he is getting furhter away give me a hurting feeling that i never felt with others. Its long ago when i started to feel this whenever we are aprart. I dont know what i cant do to case this feeling out, i dont know what i cant do to just get back to each other and be a normal friends. i dont mind even if its just a i want you to be happy no matter what is the outcome as long as we are still friends that can talk to each other. Even now, seeing each other everyday i have no words to speak of, every question asked i will feel that the answer given seems to be not the answer i want hence i dint even ask question or have a normal conversation as each word i received i felt as if it pierce through my heart. i really dont understand this feeling of mine. the more i wanted to let go the more sadder the outcome is. i feels like i cant leave without a day without seeing that person or at least say hello and goodbye just one word each day it make me feels i am blessed for that day. i wonder why, why we cant be as before even we cant have a special relation. i wonder why is it so hard for me to let go even we haven even started. i dont mind if i cant see u or meet you but at least i still can have the normal conversation we had before. Is it becoz of something that i have done wrong or is it the step i taken is wrong. All this keep me wondering. I just want you to know that as i write this i feel really sad about everything ever since n time when i feel that i get along well with you..~~

Dissapointed

Life is truly dissaponting when nothing change to be a better one. Even how hard you try to forget, to solve, to help, to understand and to pretend things seems to be getting nasty. It is pretty dissapointing when someone come to you and keep complaining over something. It is more dissapointing when all this is about the people you know, the people you truly believe that will change with flow of course not personality wise. After pretty dissapointing is followed by very dissapointed. This happen when not only one person you actually trusted can help and good become the other way round becasue of following another person attitude which is the one you know also. This also apply to those that don't know how to appreciate people goodness. The last stage of dissapoinment will be truely dissapointed. This come by when some one you once are close to, some one you believe, respect, appreciate and admire give you a feeling of suspection.

Quite life

New Year has pass for so long and yet time to strethen this life has yet far to go. Its hard to do something when its easy to say. Changing life, trying to get a new one to some people it is as easy as claping hands but for certain people its like picking down a start form the sky. Forever unreachable. Is there anyone out there which can change one's to be more socialise? Is there people out there that can accept people that is quite? Does it really means for those people that feel its hard to step into the society will forever sticking up with themselve all of their life if they do not change? People around seems so near and yet they seems to be unreach able, keep on getting away from me, keep on become further n further and harder to reach. Its hard to predict this life as life is hard to change. If there is some one that can start a new life with a click of erase and save the new life its really a pleasure for them.

My Hope

I pray that there is someone there to guide me across the road.
I hope that some one will appear and tell me to stop.
I hope that there is some one there to just to hold me.
I hope htat there is some one out there that just can make me happy.
I hope that there is some one that can reach out and say don be sad.
I hope that there is some one out that can ask me to stop thinking.
I hope some one out there will pet be like a little puppy
I hope some one out there will just lend me their shoulder to lean on.
I hope some one out there will just come and tell me to stop the tears
I hope there is some one that will come and comfort me.
I hope there is some one that i can really talk to and not a shame to show my feeling.
I hope that some one will notice me once in a while.
I hope that i will not me just a invisible person in front of everyone.
I hope that some one will come and pick me up from the corner of an empty street.
I just hope that some one will make me smile a true smile.
THere is too much hope but it all can be done with just some one giving more attention to some one that is less social, some one that try to lock themselve up, some one that try to imprison themselfve, some one that feel this world now is nothing, some one that feels that live is as empty as vaccum.

One will appretiate more when......

When one's work for something they wanted, they will appretiate it more. As that time they know how hard is it to earn something that they want. When people give, we just take without knowing how hard one's work for it eventhough its just a small stuff. When we tried to look for it on our own, we had hard time just finding it. But when you find it you feel relieve and happy cause you finaly got something on your own. Even so some people for receiving a gift even a small one it's make them happier then when they buy it by themself. This is because that gift they receive its a one in a lifetime gift. this gift they will remember in mind and keep it at heart even that's the one and only. Some that sought the thing they wanted themself, got it but they still feel sad eventhough they appreciate it. Why? Its because there is no one there to that can even understand what is the needs of that person eventhough its just as simple as having a cup of tea together. For me i really appretiate those that are able to have a cup of tea with me once in a life time then those who gift me diamonds but does not understand the true needs of a person.

In the midle of the ocean

In the ocean there is a lot of nice things which include corals and different kind of fishes. But i don't know why when i set sail to catch fishes, i keep on catching whale, even if i dive indo the sea i can't see others accept whale. I fish whole day and yet the only thing i caught is whale. I don't know how much whale i have catch today, i can't even count. If only i could exchange this whales with something i like i will change all of it with one.
Apart from catching whale, i keep on getting bitten by crab when i pull up my net. It's hurt a lot that i can't even describe it. Waiting for the time for it to stop bitting. Plaster, oilment and medicine does not help. I don't know how much longer i can bare with it.
In this ocean, all of a sudden storm come then sun comes. This make me feel soo cold that i migh freeze at a time and hot at a time. I am hoping a mermaid will appear and transform me in to one so i can be friends with whale and crab that keep on bothering and hurting me. How much i hope and wish for it,it doesn't matter as i know this is something that never will be realise. It is like waiting water to flow uphill of a waterfall instead of downhill. Even so i still hope i still keep this as a hope and a wish.

MeT@m0rPho5is

Day passes followed by week, month and years. Everything in this world keeps on changing. Even the people around seems to be different even though they go by the same name and has the same looks. Compare to the nature which has the name sunny, winter, rain, and so on they are just the same. Having the same name but keep changing in their moods. Sometime it rains unstopable, sometime its just small rain, sometime it can't even rain when you wanted it to. This goes the same to others.

Maybe there are not changing, maybe that is what there are but never show, or trying to be some one else in front of everyone. Like what we say the day is sunny but we never know when it will become dreadfull creating drought or become as pleasant as just a crystal clear sky just nice for every one.

Apart from changing or showing ones true self, they might be still the same to everyone but just showing differences to certain people around them. Saying that people that leave in winter won't feel the cold the people leaving in non-seasonal place. Even the its the same winter, people from desert might feel its freezing while local there just feels cold.

Sometime there are no changes within that person, and others does not feel that there is changes but some people might feels that they had change as they fall too deep into them that even a slight change seems to be a lot. It feels just like summer changing into winter without any autumn in between or winter to summer without spring in between.

Others is that no people are changing but you yourself are, that make you feel all the people around you changes. Its just like us human creating pollution for the sack of wealth and dream which actually changes increase the temperature of the globe, that some how we think that the sun burn bigger creating hotter day. Just that we don't realise that we change ourself that make the people around us seems to be changing.

Puppet life

A whole new year has started weeks ago, even so life seems to be getting worse and worse. Trying hard to be better, trying hard so that everything seems fine and nothing seems to be wrong. Does trying hard enough satisfied us, does trying hard will change our life?
Trying hard to make things seems to be fine, does not change anything what that is wrong is still there they never will be erase. It's like creating a mud without the existence of soil. Something just cant be change no matter how hard you try. But some has a great change, once was a caring, a person that will listen, a person that will remind and help has turn into something else. Is it a play of feeling or all this is just a illusion before, or there are pretending all this while, or it is their sudden change, or there is something that causes this. All that one hope for is to get a better life at a new time. All this seems to be hope that is hard to be fullfill vice versa its full of desperation. Trying hard to be better, trying hard to create a newer life a better one seems to be bringing a person to a time with more desperation, with more knife stricking in feeling more pain than ever. This is especially when there is no one around to shared it, no one around to accompany, the people avaiable seems to be adding the pain. The only thing that a person can do is to talk to a dummy, creating imagination that it will listen, reply, say comforting word, and accompany them in this desperate world.