Feel safe and secure??

As a continous ,to the previous blog, and yet still i dont the know the reason why, everythime when i am sad or even with dripping tears when i see him i feel every sadness is gone just with a count of one. Even i wanted it to contunue pouring just to feel better myself it would not come down. I don't know why am i only know how to shows happy faces even i am so down. Now i don't know how to approach him, what to say to him cause i feel i don't know him anymore. Even though i want to get back to the time like before just normal chat i cant make it even once. I dont have much to ask, i respect and appreciate what you have done but i still will prefer that you are as you are before, become a person that i can talk to even without any special relation. Now it seems that there is a huge wall between us that stop all the activities, i don'k know whehter the wall i created it myself or what but some how it become a border. This wall only become taller and taller keeping myself imprison i just hope one day you will come and help be break this wall as i really cant break it on my own now. I don't know why i feel disturb by this even we never even started anything i even doubt that you can't get my message. If you need explaination i will give, if you want it to be like the time last time i will humbly give way just don't just leave me behind all this wall and mist. If ou happen to read this and know that is you i am refer to just give me a responce, time is not as long as you thing without knowing it it passes by but to break this wall no matter how fast or how slow time pass this wall is hard to break without you helping.

Feeling uncomfortable, unsecure

I dont know why but i kind of feels uncomfortable when i did not see him for a while
Even it ry my best to forget the feeling i have towards him, trying by best to rule this particular feeling out i still feel tat everytime i din see him personally or only his shadow i feel unsecure, not comfortable, as if the world will go aparts. Every word he says whcih shows he is getting furhter away give me a hurting feeling that i never felt with others. Its long ago when i started to feel this whenever we are aprart. I dont know what i cant do to case this feeling out, i dont know what i cant do to just get back to each other and be a normal friends. i dont mind even if its just a i want you to be happy no matter what is the outcome as long as we are still friends that can talk to each other. Even now, seeing each other everyday i have no words to speak of, every question asked i will feel that the answer given seems to be not the answer i want hence i dint even ask question or have a normal conversation as each word i received i felt as if it pierce through my heart. i really dont understand this feeling of mine. the more i wanted to let go the more sadder the outcome is. i feels like i cant leave without a day without seeing that person or at least say hello and goodbye just one word each day it make me feels i am blessed for that day. i wonder why, why we cant be as before even we cant have a special relation. i wonder why is it so hard for me to let go even we haven even started. i dont mind if i cant see u or meet you but at least i still can have the normal conversation we had before. Is it becoz of something that i have done wrong or is it the step i taken is wrong. All this keep me wondering. I just want you to know that as i write this i feel really sad about everything ever since n time when i feel that i get along well with you..~~