What am i in these world?

In this world i am born, there is a lot of thing that have been missing. What is the meaning of love, playfull, childhood, laughter, what is the true meaning of having family and friends around? All this have been a question. Is my existance in this world only as a person to fill one of the gap of population in this world? Is my existance in these world is only to see how life of others around me? Is it that all these while i only can see how happy people are, how they truly laugh, to see how warm their family are? Is it that my life has only the means to see but not the means to experience it myself? Is that the thing that i felt all this while can only be emptiness, sadness, anger and the will to create a better life for myself that is hence full of tears? Is this what i am to this world? Is that to people i am always the person who smile and seems to be happy? Is that to people i can have everything i want when actually all of it are only the things that i have in what the eyes are capable of seeing? Is it that hard that my only requirement is someone to tell me jokes, sit with me, talk with me once in a while some that all this emptiness and all this sadness will go away? As people always says the simplest thing in live is the hardest thing to achieve. The things that you see is not the thing that really symbolise a person. A person who smile and laugh at everything, deep down inside is just a person that has an empty soul to be feel with joys.