Wondering

I wonder what i have been thinking or doing for the pass few months till now. I wonder why all this suddenly come back to me when i have tried for a long time to forget and to accept. I wonder why all this thing suddenly appear in my mind even though i don't think of it. I wonder why all this recall session suddenly reappear in a rapid speed. I wonder why all this reappearance seems to bring away all the happiness i have been working on for the pass few years. I wonder why everything seems to be not rite. I wonder why for a long time i don have the feeling of loosing hope and now it suddenly appear. I wonder why i had wishes that the thing that have been taken away to come back. I wonder why all of a sudden i start recalling the pass, the pass where the time there is happiness and the time when people bring happiness to me. I wonder why all this is gone now. I wonder why all the confidence and determination in me is all gone for now. I wonder why tears suddenly become a large part of my life for the pass few months till now. What is the maybe or what are the real reason behind all this?