Wondering

I wonder what i have been thinking or doing for the pass few months till now. I wonder why all this suddenly come back to me when i have tried for a long time to forget and to accept. I wonder why all this thing suddenly appear in my mind even though i don't think of it. I wonder why all this recall session suddenly reappear in a rapid speed. I wonder why all this reappearance seems to bring away all the happiness i have been working on for the pass few years. I wonder why everything seems to be not rite. I wonder why for a long time i don have the feeling of loosing hope and now it suddenly appear. I wonder why i had wishes that the thing that have been taken away to come back. I wonder why all of a sudden i start recalling the pass, the pass where the time there is happiness and the time when people bring happiness to me. I wonder why all this is gone now. I wonder why all the confidence and determination in me is all gone for now. I wonder why tears suddenly become a large part of my life for the pass few months till now. What is the maybe or what are the real reason behind all this?

Fireflies

Fireflies need place that is warm to live on. In summer fireflies will find their destiny and pass down their descendant. When it come to autumn when the weather started to cold down, they can't survive through it and hence need their descendant to continue on their destiny. But some make it through the autumn with high determination on full filling their destiny for a longer time. During the night it provide light, to light up our way in the olden days. All this fade away slowly as days goes by. So it is to our life, when there is a journey to complete we will try our best to go through it until it is time when we can't manage anymore. This does not mean giving up but at least we've tried. When we are down we hope for certain light to come to us, even there is no help from them but by seeing and looking at them make us feel better, felt that there still might be hope around the corner. We will never know what is at the turning, if it is a death end then nothing can be done accept to accept it, if there is a turn or road then don't give up. Sometimes we will feel that the road is far and yet it never reach its destination, hence we felt as if its time just to let go. This sometime will make one feel bad for not continuing down the road, as their destiny had not been fulfill. Like a fireflies, who cant adopt well as the weather changes, there is minority with this determination will make it over the changes.