Feeling uncomfortable, unsecure

I dont know why but i kind of feels uncomfortable when i did not see him for a while
Even it ry my best to forget the feeling i have towards him, trying by best to rule this particular feeling out i still feel tat everytime i din see him personally or only his shadow i feel unsecure, not comfortable, as if the world will go aparts. Every word he says whcih shows he is getting furhter away give me a hurting feeling that i never felt with others. Its long ago when i started to feel this whenever we are aprart. I dont know what i cant do to case this feeling out, i dont know what i cant do to just get back to each other and be a normal friends. i dont mind even if its just a i want you to be happy no matter what is the outcome as long as we are still friends that can talk to each other. Even now, seeing each other everyday i have no words to speak of, every question asked i will feel that the answer given seems to be not the answer i want hence i dint even ask question or have a normal conversation as each word i received i felt as if it pierce through my heart. i really dont understand this feeling of mine. the more i wanted to let go the more sadder the outcome is. i feels like i cant leave without a day without seeing that person or at least say hello and goodbye just one word each day it make me feels i am blessed for that day. i wonder why, why we cant be as before even we cant have a special relation. i wonder why is it so hard for me to let go even we haven even started. i dont mind if i cant see u or meet you but at least i still can have the normal conversation we had before. Is it becoz of something that i have done wrong or is it the step i taken is wrong. All this keep me wondering. I just want you to know that as i write this i feel really sad about everything ever since n time when i feel that i get along well with you..~~